The Manx Den

Well, the first real occassion to use my blog. *Oy*…

I was in the hospital today to get my arm X-rayed and checked up with the doctor about how it’s growing together. It’s been in an external fixator for over three months and doc decided to  stop stretching it at  3 cm. because it was healing so slowly. *shakes her paw angrily at her diabetes*

I met up with my in-laws there too, as dad’s been having chest pains recently. He got this great shock of pain at midnight a week ago, and my hubby had to go out to  watch over him while waiting for the ambulance (mom was out in Copenhagen helping family with a new house).  So today they finally got the results from all the hospital tests…

And they weren’t good – his lung cancer wasn’t caught early enough to be operable, and it’s in his blood too. I .. I’ve really grown close to my hubby’s parents. They’ve supported me all through my move here and really been a steadfast spot when we’ve been in trouble, both financially and emotionally.

He’ll be around another 1-3 years, depending upon the success of the supportive chemotherapy (less radical than emergency chemo to try and kill the cancer). Since everything’s spread to his bloodstream they really can’t fix it.

So this year he celebrates his 72nd birthday and his 40th year of marriage. He’s an amazing man..

The world seems to always want to deal him blows. He was born with cateracts, and at the time of his birth surgery to remove clouded lenses was not very advanced.  One has to understand Denmark a bit to get a real understanding of the circumstances of his life as a legally blind child: Jante’s law. ‘Don’t think you’re anyone special or that you’re better than us.‘ It’s basically a mindset that came about as Denmark developed a socialistic/welfare society, and the mindset continues on in Danish society at least in part.

Well, as a handicapped fellow my father in law both had the teasing of other kids in school to deal with, but also the expectation that as a handicapped person he’d take his situation with humility. Instead he went right into an apprenticeship with a bicycle repairman and learned how to make and repair bikes, motorcycles and mopeds. A while later he got married, had his first kid, and moved into the town I live in now. And he managed to buy one of the town’s most sought after places to open shop, basically on the corner of main street and who’s-who-lives-here avenue.  He was basically blacklisted by the townsfolk for snatching up their territory (How dare he, an outsider) and having a successful shop (a near-blink man, making money? that’s ridiculous!)

I admire him a lot. He was a self-supporting man for a family of five kids long before handicapped folk ever started recieving a pension (started in the 70′s) even against the flow. Mike’s told me a lot of stories about his family was treated. Lots of kids basically gven the blind eye to beat up on my hubby and his brothers in a plain old mean attempt to drive them out of town.. but they never left.

About 1995 he lost his second-oldest son to a work accident – the man never was really the same. He couldn’t continue work in his shop it effected him so deeply. He sold his shop and moved to a smaller house in town, continuing his repairs for freinds and family, and retired somewhat to live a quieter life. When I moved to Denmark in 2002 he was still a somewhat withdrawn and quiet man, but at the same time he’s a kind and very freindly soul. The kind that will stick with you through anything once you get his trust.

And now, it’s nearly time to say goodbye.

Another year or so of school with you, then you graduate to the better life.

Thanks gramps for sticking with us. You’re a real cool cat and all that.