The Manx Den

Current Mood: Thankful & Yaaawn…

 

Dear Diary/Blog/whatever,

Today was very busy, and I suppose you could call it odd. I had a lot to do, so I was up at seven in the morning and feeling tired. I had likely six or seven hours of sleep, which I suppose is alright, though my first impulse was a groan and a rollover to turn off the alarm clock. Usually I get up at nine, so I felt somewhat un-rested. But, then again, I’m a lazy soul, since I don’t have a job or classes to go to. It’s hard to get them when you have one arm and have been at home for several years after the amputation!

 

Well, for the past few months, I have been concentrating on two things – first, getting active in church and doing things there that make me feel good and on an even keel, and second, working with my nurse at the diabetes school in Odense so that I have better control over my insulin-dependant diabetes. It’s the type that started up in childhood and that requires insulin-therapy, and not just diet-control. 

 

But eating simple, healthy foods and dosing the right amount of insulin is very much a part of it, which I have not been very good at doing in the past. There’s been plenty of excuses why, but I have written about them in the past, so there’s no reason to now.  

 

The reason for going out to Odense today was to go to see my nurse and go over some of the results from short-period fasting that I worked on in the past few weeks. So that’s where I headed first, on the train that works a bit like the metro that they have in the larger cities where I’ve been in the US. 

 

I was surprised to have a young arab woman sit across from me in the train to talk. Her name is Huda, and she lives in the same town I do. She wanted to talk about how things were going, and catch up – I believe she was going to Danish language classes with me back in 2003-2005. I graduated in the summer of 2005, I believe, in the classes aimed for immigrants who wished to go into work or university. The focus in the classes was on grammar, spelling, and the finer details such as pronunciation and general knowledge about recent history here in Denmark. 

 

She has been attending classes in general subjects such as mathematics and science, and certainly busy with up to eight hours a day in classes, so it was refreshing to talk with her. I’ve mostly been busy with moving to the house we rent now, training and enjoying our dog (born april, 2008), and the aforementioned diabetes. 

 

She also mentioned that her mother has been very interested in meeting me, because her mother of course wants to have friends here in town. Danes are quite cool socially – that is, they can be a bit cautious about whom they talk to over the hedge, and be slow to warm up to eachother. I can relate to that, sure – I am quite like that, though coming to another country has furthered the need and the habit of being more open towards others. 

 

In Huda’s culture it’s hardly unusual to invite relative strangers over to eat a little and just talk – and you know what? I’m really happy about that! I traded phone numbers with Huda there on the train, and felt rather good about it. I know there are various cultural and religious things that can make one be cautious, but honestly, I need friends just as much as the folk around me, and I’m glad for the invitation. 

 

Huda sent me an SMS (text-message on my mobile phone) saying her mother was happy to hear that I’d be glad to come over. I wrote back asking when would be the best time to drop by – and I guess I’ll bring some nuts or tea and go enjoy chatting with the ladies.

 

I’ve been out on business plenty too, today. My nurse and I spent nearly an hour looking at the blood-sugar values we saw while looking at the computer (I am currently loaning a wireless blood-sugar-recording device called a ‘Sensor’). We adjusted a few details on my insulin-dosages that I get from the insulin pump through the day, and I got a solid warning from her not to dose without counting how many carbohydrates were in my food and bolusing properly using the pump’s bolus wizard. She could see that my low blood sugars during the night were often caused by snacking around dinnertime, so I’m eager to follow her instructions and see the results!

 

It feels rather good to be doing things her way rather than my way. It works, and I’m not beating myself up over seeing my blood sugar go high, when it happens. As a teen I ignored my diabetes as much as possible, but I am simply not the same person now as I was ten years ago. 

 

I had three other errands to do today, so I’ll tell about them in the order of events: 

 

I took my two left-arm prostheses in to the prosthesis-workshop to get them fixed after the dog’s mischief. The reserve arm got puppy-chewed in October. My favorite prosthesis got the hand ripped right out of the holster when she leapt after a cat during obedience training. The poor trainer was incredibly shocked to see my hand leap out of the sleeve of my coat and plop on the ground, but when I had my wits back, I laughed so hard that there was nothing we could do but stand and laugh! 

 

It was snowing that wednesday and we were only four people who showed up to the class, three dogs and owners and the trainer, but I can only laugh now about it. It’s one thing to worry about an expensive bit of equipment, but another thing to see a body part go plopping on the ground and have one’s dog listen obediently to the ‘no’ about lurching. It’s not a problem to repair. 

 

But when I walked to the workshop, I was surprised to see little danish flags planted all along their driveway and peppering the garden-bush that lines the way to the door! They had a big white limousine waiting in front of the door, and a red carpet rolled out all the way down the stairs, a bit under the limo, and down the wheelchair-access ramp. I thought maybe they had some member of the royal family on a visit, since the workers even started walking out to the limousine in fine clothes! 

 

Nope! They had rented the limo and prepared a catered party in their office because one of their workers was having his fortieth working anniversary that day. What an amazing thing to wander in on! I was very surprised, and bemused to say the least. The secretary was sweet enough to go to the desk to take my signature and the prostheses, and of course they got many wishes from me for a good party.

 

My next stop was Bilka, one of the large Walmart-like stores here in Denmark. I had two shower-mixers to return, since the ones I had bought in January for our house suddenly decided that only hot water was good enough to send through to the shower-head! My hubby, Mike, had to stay home all day and keep the water turned off, but poor soul, I think he slept through it just fine. *evil grin*

 

I returned the shower-mixers and bought two new ones, then had a little lunch, then  went to the pet store to buy ten kilos of cat-food. That’s just a bit over twenty pounds for you imperialists. So, imagine my workload for heading home with on first foot, then the bus, then the train – two shower-mixers (which blend the hot and cold water and which we cannot wash without, at least a kilo and a half each), and ten kilos of cat food – all on a little shopping-trolley which I have only one slightly-overused hand and arm to tote around. 

 

Yes, it was a big job. Yes, coming home and feeding an overly-food-happy cat was all worth it!

 

I was greeted at the train station by a warm-hearted hubby and a happy dog РMike had spent some time looking at his projected work hours for the month, and saw that he had a good amount coming in. He wanted to stop by the grocery store to pick up something tasty for dinner, so I gave him the shopping trolley and took the dog, and we ended up with an early dinner of fine steak, b̩arnaise sauce, peas and garlic bread. It was great. ^__^

 

Béarnaise sauce, by the way, is a slightly tangy cream sauce that goes well with many types of meat and fish. 

 

It doesn’t, however, go down easily with seeing family suffer – and we saw that this evening. 

 

After dinner Mike and I enjoyed a bit of the first warm weather of the season. We sat outside in the sunset for a bit and I sat to fold some of my fresh-washed clothes. Mia enjoyed exploring the lawn and wagging her tail at Mike – she (the dog) was also entertained a bit by one of our cats weaving around the hedge. After I had my clothes folded I decided to take them upstairs and put them away, and then to take a shower. 

 

Mike was distracted for some reason – I was a bit shocked to hear that my sister-in-law’s parents had stopped by again at their house, but to us it was obvious that Marina’s mother and step-father (Marina is my sister-in-law) had stopped by to hear the news after Finn and Marina were to a meeting with the Commune to hear the results of their physiological evaluations. The commune has their daughter in foster care (with Finn and Marina able to visit their child), and has been very cautious about the situation, since the child is in foster care to begin with because of family conflicts. 

 

Conflicts.. Well, Marina’s mother presses too much to get her way with things. She wants Marina to have a really good life – her way. It’s very common for Ukrainian mothers and daughters to be closer than husbands and wives, and Marina’s mother wants that – even if it means she must push, prod and intervene until Finn and the rest of our family is out of Marina’s life. Right now that also means for Marina’s mother to have her way, Marina’s daughter also must come home, no matter what. 

 

No worries, right? Mommy will make it all right… Right? 

 

Marina’s daughter is in foster care right now because of her mother’s pushiness and presence when the child was born. Finn and Marina were not prepared for the whirlwind presence of Marina’s mother – especially not in the midst of a home of two newlyweds just getting their first child. I know there are folks that will argue the case of Marina’s mother, and with many valid points – but I cannot argue them here without making my entry too long – and it is already very long. 

 

I went over to see Marina after I had gotten dry from my shower and dressed in the nice, fresh clothes. It does a world of difference, washing! I spent the whole time I was drying, praying. Honestly, I do not want to walk into a situation where someone is under spiritual attack without praying good and thorough; I want what comes out of my heart and mouth to be kind, simple, and loving. 

 

I went over there without remembering to set my insulin pump back on after the shower. I started my shower at about seven or eight o’clock in the evening, so my pump was sitting in the bathroom for the time I was away. 

 

I was with Marina in listening, encouragement and prayer about half an hour and more. I … Well, what can I say? May God give Mike and I an overflowing of love so that we can give them what we can with all our hearts. Marina is pulled one way by her mother and her greatly agonized heart to get her daughter from foster care and have her at home. Finn is not willing to go down that path, because there is yet hope with the commune, because they still have the right to visit their child, and in a year or two they can hire a family-rights lawyer and get the case revisited properly. 

 

If they take their child forcefully from foster care, the commune has the right by law to bring the police in and remove the child from their care and take away all of Finn and Marina’s rights to the child, because that would be seen as placing the child in danger. Finn and Marina offered their daughter over to foster care because of a stressed situation right at the birth, and they are still deep in it – Marina does not yet have the conviction or strength to decide who is right or wrong in the situation. 

 

It is a grey-zone place, and very much one of those situations that marriage vows speak of – ‘through thick and thin, for richer or for poorer’. Yes, I know I don’t have it entirely right! But.. Well, Marina really needed someone to just hug her, listen to her, and encourage her to pray and tell it straight out to Jesus what she wanted and needed. She prayed for help!

 

I sent the prayer need further by calling our pastor after coming home. Hubby and I are quite tired by now and sleepy, and hubby is relaxing a bit at the TV while I blog. 

 

I just.. I was very surprised to find that after two hours without my insulin pump, my blood sugar had not risen, but fallen. My blood sugar at nine-thirty was 3,5, which is actually low rather than high. (Normal in european measurements is 3.8 – 7.0). 

 

I have of course been very much in prayer, both alone and with others in church, for  Jesus to heal my diabetes. He uses it both as a way to grab my attention and to get me to walk with him forwards rather than backwards. It’s what got me to bow my knee and shout out to him for help to begin with. 

 

But even if it goes away, I will still follow Him. God is very good, very real, and very much a part of me – and I long to be more and more a part of him.